Yeah. That's gross. I was looking for pictures of dirty bathrooms/apartments to use as a background image for the Pyramid Head image found below, and I stumbled across that pleasant little scene.

Bleck.

On better news...

I GOT ACCEPTED TO UW! WOO!

But I do have bad news. Noah's server did die, which means my files and my layout went ploop. Oh well. Life goes on.

Pyramid Head. Reminder for later. Maybe I'll make a WinAmp2 skin.

Note to self: Do not play Silent Hill 2 late at night again. >_<;;;

Crap. Where did my layout go? >_< I think Noah's server rolled over and died.

I am in JROTC. I joined just this year. In one semester, I jumped from Private to Sergeant. In other words, pretty much every promotion day, I got promoted. And so did :devbleedingcrow:

Today we got quizzed on our packets.

I didn't know much, only a few things and cadet ranks.

So why are we getting promoted?

Could it be that I've known the Company Commander since grade school? Hmm.

I wonder sometimes if good things happen to me that I don't deserve. I wonder about that a lot.

Like my gift of reading. It is impossible for me to grasp how anyone can have difficulty reading. I am tutoring a young Vietnamese girl at Fern Hill Elementary every Wednesday for six weeks (until Feb 18th), and she has trouble reading. She reads, but she doesn't comprehend. How can I help her if I don't understand where she is coming from?

(And despite my loathing of children, she is just about the cutest thing ever seen. Unfortunately, she hates my Link pin for some ineffable reason.)

[sigh] I feel kind of worthless right now. Like everything I can do I don't deserve, and everything I can't do should forever remain out of my reach. Am I being angsty? Probably. But I'm a teen. I suppose we all fall victim to our weaknesses. One of my many faults is complaining too much. Even if I don't mind doing something, I still complain. I think it's just to hear the sound of my own voice. >_< That's disturbing.

D'OH!

Today My friend Michelle, a d00d named Daniel Peterson, and me had to compete in a drilldown for promotion. Hyun said, "Right- Face!"

...And I turned left.

>_<### Embarrassing much?

On top of that, we did "column right" wrong! Horribly wrong! But how can we do it right if we've never learned how to do "column right" when in a flank? Gaaar!

Time for truth; elitists. A common fact. There will always be someone who feels they are better than you. How can we fight against this? People can be really stubborn.

Why should "character" skins be banned from Deviant Art? WinAmp skinners who don't skin "characters", i.e. the "original" people, have complained long and hard. Yeah, you probably remember me venting about how my skins were deleted because they were deemed "skinner-generated," which at first was just a slight cover-up for the real reason.

I understand copyright issues come into play. But have I not see DA prints for sale featuring characters copyrighted to a company? For example, oh, a Sephiroth print. Yes. I highly doubt that permission was given/obtained. And if I post for a non-profit purpose, doesn't that give me a little more standing than someone who's making money?

I don't know the legalities. I don't pretend to. All I know is the one form of art I feel like I can shine in... is no longer acceptable and deemed unworthy of being posted on Deviant Art.

What really bothers me is that a lot of "original" skins have the same essential look to them. Metallic, liquidy.

Yeah. Real original to post the same skin five times, only with different colors.

[sigh]

Just being bitter, I suppose.

'Complete Psycho' PLEASE VOTE!!!


What Type of Lunatic are You?
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Hehehehe.... @_@;; (Thanks, Clawed)

Um.... not much to report. Couldn't give blood yesterday. I was devastated. My iron percentage was at 34%, not the minimum of 38%. I guess it's because I haven't been eating as much rice and and potatoes as I used to. Actually, I really am not eating much of anything particularly healthy. I better change that.

We got chewed out today in JRTOC. I mean, really. I've always known we sucked as a company, but fifth out of six companies? Yowch... I try my best, but I'm maybe not so good at the physical part. I think I'll start training a little at home; you know, some sit-ups, stretches, light jogging. Yeah, I'd better do that.

[sigh]

Hmm... better try to relax. Gotta do the first part of Martin Luther King Jr.'s speech twice today. In front of the whole school. >_<

What a coincidence that the next volume of GTO I need came out on my birthday last year... :D

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be insane? Truly? Not just to pretend. I wonder sometimes. It will never be the same as actually knowing.

And, unfortunately, I think that once you go insane, there's pretty much no turning back.

...Yeah.

Who loves ya, Luthien? Not Raveth, that's for sure. Mufufufu.

[quick update]

MAJOR CLIFFHANGER?!

>_< That doesn't even begin to describe the utter despair I feel at being left without knowing.

What terrible news; Science Olympiad... cancelled? How horrible of Mrs. Beckwith to just knock off such a fun and meaningful event.

...I also placed it for this year as well on my AAA sheet (awards, achievements, and activities) for my application to UW. Which is now on its way to the Office of Admissions. Yes, thank you, thank you.

But I can't believe it. We had such a great turn-out last year, and so what if we didn't do well? We had fun, we learned some stuff, we worked together.

I never really liked her, to be honest. It seems petty to bring that up now, but it's true. She always rubbed me the wrong way, especially with the ASB thing and how they get "off-campus" passes, which they abuse by leaving school to buy lunch from places such as McDonald's, Subway, and Jack-in-the-Box. That seems like favoritism. And what are the security guards doing about it?

Nothing.

[sigh]

That's life, I suppose.

By the way, for the very few readers I have left on this blog who are possibly interested, you can finally read the first chapter of my novel, The Silver Talons, here. And yes, the crappy artwork is mine, which I came up with in about five minutes using simple filters and options in Photoshop 7. I didn't want it to be that hideous default "cover image" that it usually is for Poetry and Prose, so I guess a deformed hand surrounded by reddish-dark-blue clouds is somewhat more visually appealing. Bleck.

Awww, thanks Clawed. ^_^ Currently I'm working on a "gift skin" for a friend using her own original character. Then I have plans for more Soul Calibur II skins.

...And maybe another Saiyuki skin. Or X. I like X. Mufufu...

Well, I still haven't applied to colleges. I know what you're thinking! As soon as I get home and post a few things on DA, I will begin typing up the essay for my application. >_< I've just been putting it off and putting it off...

It was if I had been frozen by my fear, a deer caught in the great headlights of the future. I could not move, staring into the bright oblivion of failure and despair. I feel as if I'm going to just fall away into nothing, fade into the light and be absorbed.

...Or not. ~_~;;

But I've been working on a lot on my rewrite for my novel, The Silver Talons. It's already at 130 pages. ^_^ I started last December. I ended up changing the plotline a lot more than I really wanted to. That isn't to say I'm not pleased with how it's coming out, though I must say, I really still hate everything I wrote. Blargh.

What Finding Nemo Character are You?
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Yay! Lots of those...

Not much to say. Work, shopping, consumption of Dr Pepper and other foods/beverages not recommended by the Food Pyramid thing...

Heh. I finally got around to watching the GTO box set (Volumes 1-5, and purchased separately #6), as well as X Two, Dreamcatcher, Saiyuki Volume 4 (I still have to watch #5) and the Captain Harlock movie Arcadia of My Youth.

I also read Kare Kano (His and Her Circumstances) Volumes 1-3 (a gift from Matt, who didn't know my taste in manga but is still a great guy anyway) and still have to read #4. I also purchased Fake Vol. 5 (which I read and feel diffident about), Ragnarok 5 (for Gen-chan), and Journal #1 of a Korean series called "The Legend of Goo-shu" about a runaway boy cursed to become a chicken when night falls.

Books/Games/Movies to Get Returned
Dark Cloud
Dark Cloud 2
Legaia 2
Kingdom Hearts
Fake OAV
Jax and Daxter
Super Smash Brothers Melee
Animal Crossing
Super Mario Sunshine
Soul Calibur 2
The Woad To Wuin
Tong Lashing
The Eyes of the Dragon

...Yeah, I let a lot of people borrow things.... I really need to keep a record. Starting now. >_<

I bought a lot of stuff. Ooh, I'm also almost through with Stephen King's Everything's Eventual, a collection of the most awesomest short stories. Yo. But nothing will never top Shawshank Redemption and Rita Hayworth. Mufufufu.

I also purchased gifts for friends. Which I won't list. But! I bought a Super Mario Sunshine toy (Mario and Yoshi) and a Kingdom Hearts toy (Darkside and pluto). Both were only $6. Wow! I've the Mario one on my wall, but I need to find another pushpin for the KH one... (wish they had a Cloud toy...)

I'm doing homework now. Oops. Bye.

winamp: Blasphemous Rumours by Depeche Mode

What attracts people to you?
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I promise an update later. >_<