Hmmm... If it's so awful it can never be mentioned, then why is there a word to describe such a thing? XD To which your reply should be, "What such thing?" Exactly. *nods knowingly*

...I amuse myself.

Don't mention that. I was young, stupid, and very very naive. Which, coincidentally, has not changed. Ho ho ho... Well, I don't mean that as an insult, yet it sounds like one... Just like old times. Say, maybe we should "hook up" with Kristen and some other d00ds. That would be fun. But not this Saturday. I have a... challenge. Matt challenged me to Super Smash Bros. >_> Michelle told him I was really good (which is a LIE!!!!!), so now he wants to "get rid of the competition." I'm not terribly good, but let me just say I don't plan to lose. ^_____^

And then you're in the man from Mars! You go out at night, eating cars! You eat Cadillacs, Lincolns too! Mercurys and Subarus...

stuck in my head: Rapture by Blondie

No sugar indeed. (Props to Michelle for drawing it.)

Shoo fly, don't bother me. (And until I see you again, I'll always have this mental picture of you as a 98-lb weakling.)

Crap. I had the feeling I had something very important to blog, but... >_> I forgot it. Hah. Story of my life.

Anyway, attempted to see Miyazaki's (or Miyuzaki, or something like that) Spirited Away at the Grand Cinema Theatre with Michelle and her sister Linda, but we arrived a wee bit late and they were sold out. Which bothers me. Why call it a Grand Cinema Theatre if it shares a medium sized building with a coffee shop that seems to get more customers than it? And if it's co critically acclaimed (as Michelle pointed out), why is it only playing at this one theatre at unfortunate times? -_-;;;

Alas. There's always next weekend.

Got my N64 back from Doug, as well as Homecoming Pictures. Will I be posting them? After being attacked by rabid wolves-- I mean, high school peers, I only have one measly 4x5 (Or is it 5x4? Argh) left. Even more fortunate, I'm on the computer that has the (bad) scanner. ~_~ But I don't feel like scanning it in just yet. Let me have my dignity for a little while longer. I want to kill the photographer; I look so silly with my head all cocked to one side like I've got water in my ear or something. >.< Bah.

Somehow, I was also "selected" to attend the Narrows League Sportsmanship Thingy Conference at PLU this next Thursday. Also selected were a lot of people I know, including Gen-chan. Eight of us are going; sixteen schools are each sending eight students. We'e going to be gone pretty much all school day in order to discuss... things. The staff wanted people who came from all walks of life, basically. I'm still stunned and nervous to death about it; me, selected to represent Mount Tahoma. My epitaph should read along the lines of "unteresting in both life and death." -_-;;

Neil, you're incorrigible. XD Your blog shines rays of hope in my otherwise dismal existence. Or something like that. And I'm glad you like the CD, too. ^__^ I told you that you would. I missed KB Thursday, but apparently I'm on your team?! Wow! XD That's WonderFun! And terribly sorry to hear about your aunt-who-is-not-your-aunt. x_X Hope she makes out OK.

Oh. That's what it was that was so important. I bought a new, hardback copy of Orson Scott Card's Shadow Puppets for only FIVE DOLLARS! HA! HAHAHAHAHA! XD

...Well, it was important to me. :P

winamp: Crucify My Love by X-Japan
Everyone else thinks this song has nonsense lyrics, but I don't. XP

Hmm... Well, you could say I've been trying to unplug my life's toilet of all the crap that's been clogging it up, but I'm not doing such a hot job. Originally, it was my intent to keep this blog until I graduated from high school, but lately I've been thinking that if I can't even so much as bother to blog a few sentences every other day or so, then what's the point? What's the point of anything, for that matter?

Homecoming, I could say, went pretty well, but that would be like me saying I like Dr Pepper just a little. It went fan-fucking-TASTIC, except... my date ruined it. Completely and utterly. Hrm, maybe 'ruined' is too strong a word; I should say... I can't look back on the experience without feeling intense shame and guilt. You see, he asked me out, as I thought would happen, and as I planned ahead, I turned him down. But even though we've stuck to the pretense of 'remaining the close friends we were,' it's all a huge, fucking laugh, because I simply can't stand to be around him. When he calls... I don't answer. I know I'm probably not dealing with this very well, but it's all I know. It's very uncomfortable to be around him now.

Man, this is such bullshit. I shouldn't have to deal with this kind of crap at this point in my life. All I want is to enjoy the last of my 'carefree' days. Having a boyfriend would ruin that, to be honest, because I can predict exactly how any relationship I could get into would progress. It starts off pretty nice, but then I become more and more insecure and guilty, and finally end up pushing away the person who wants to get close. The more I attempt to become close to someone, the more I push them away because of my damn stupid insecurity.

It's hard enough watching out for my own ego, let alone someone else's. All I can do is look out for myself at the moment. Maybe that's self-centered, but I'm not even doing a good job at balancing my own emotions.

What can I say, really. As a teenager, it is my right, maybe even my sworn duty to dramatize every little thing that happens to me. I can't help it. I compare it to trying to kill yourself by holding your breath. Eventually your body forces you to breathe; you can't help it. I can't help being melodramatic and exaggerating every detail.

...That's pretty much it, until I think of something else to bemoan. Well, actually, I just thought of several more things, but I'll save those for another late Friday night when the world seems made of concrete and I just keep running into the walls.